Saturday 13 July 2019

Paper Strip Wishes



Imari city is the first place that springs to mind when Vishaka, an employee of the Fukuoka City Museum, is just about done with her hectic week. She knows she needs to take a long deserved vacation, and she instantly acts on her impromptu thought. Her bags are packed and train tickets are booked even before her scant few days of leave are sanctioned. The afternoon she collects her sanction (after much grumbling from her superviser), she boards the Karatsu bound train from Fukuoka. She takes her designated seat, and breathes a sigh of relief. The metaphorical burden upon her shoulders feels lighter.

The previous week, her co-worker Rinko had taken one look at the bags under her eyes, the pallor of her skin, and declared that she needed a holiday. “Not the adventurous sort of holiday Viishaka-kun, she had said, “you need a holiday to cleanse your mind and soul!” Vishaka could only nod along, as she had no idea if such a place existed. Rinko then cheerfully provided her details of such a homestay not far from the hustle of the busy city. No wonder Vishaka’s mind kept circling around the recommended place, a small nondescript area in Imari city called Komanaki.

Now as the train came to a stop at Karatsu, she quickly changed trains that would take her to Komanaki. Within an hour she would reach her destination.
Komanaki falls eerily silent after the train leaves the station. It is a place suspended in time, with forests cropping up discontinuously in the horizon that is slowly turning from orange to purple, and nothing but the call of cicadas to keep her company. The homestay she has chosen is supposed to be a two minute walk from the station. Taking her one small rucksack on her shoulders, Vishaka sets out to begin her long awaited holiday.

**************************************************************************

Eight months is hardly enough time to learn a smattering of hiragana and katakana system of writing.  Vishaka is thoroughly unprepared at the sight of a sign board by a two storey house proclaiming 宮古のホームステイへようこそ!  She blinks a few times, and is about to whip out her phone for the translation app when a lady in a dark coloured yukata walks out from a backyard. She is carrying a laundry basket in her arms, but the moment she spots Vishaka, she puts it down and hurries towards her. As she approaches, her features become more prominent, as much prominence twilight luminescence would allow for. She smiles at the tourist, spreads her hands wide and exclaims,” youkoso Ueno homusutei  he!”
Vishaka stares at the lady blankly, who by this time has perched a pair of thick black rimmed glasses and is intently looking towards Vishaka. Her eyes widen a fraction when she gets a good look at her face, understanding dawning on her that the Japanese exclamation was wasted on Vishaka. She then says in accented imperfect English, “Welcome to Ueno Homestay!’’. Vishaka sighs in relief and bows at her waist to greet her. The relief, however, is short lived, as the homestay owner, who introduces herself as Toshiko Ueno, has a limited vocabulary in English. Vishaka sighs again, but certainly not out of relief. She wonders how the next two days would go, considering the language barrier. But Toshiko Ueno does not seem bothered. Her smile brightens, and she welcomes Vishaka inside with a litany of “Come in, come in! “
Her smile is ever present on her face as she takes Vishaka to a makeshift lobby that is illuminated by pale yellow overhead lights, and hands her a form to fill up, which is thankfully in English as well. She tells Vishaka in broken English that she was expecting her, since a certain Rinko Komatsu had called up earlier and informed her of a lone foreign traveller who would turn up at Ueno Homestay. Vishaka smiles at the thoughtful gesture of her co-worker. She quickly fills in the necessary details, and once payment is made for her stay, Ms Ueno takes her up a flight of stairs and to her room. Once she reaches the first floor, Vishaka realizes she is the only lodger here. Good, she thinks. She would prefer as much quiet as possible.
“Ueno-san,” begins Vishaka, but is interrupted with a “Call me Toshiko-san!”
Vishaka obliges, and continues, “Toshiko-san, thank you for having me. Can you show me around this place tomorrow morning?” She says this slowly, hoping she understands. With the ever present smile on her face, Toshiko-san nods her assent. She pats Vishaka’s hand, and helps her unpack and settle into her room. Then she takes her leave, patting her shoulder twice and telling her to rest. That ever present smile and gentle touch does something to Vishaka’s insides, and she cannot help but smile.

When she goes downstairs an hour later, Toshiko-san is setting tea for two on the low table on the living room floor. She looks up at Vishaka and exclaims,” Bishaka-kun! Come, I bring tea. Green tea!” Vishaka quickly forgives her mispronounced name in the wake of her host’s enthusiasm and joins her on the low table, quickly folding her legs underneath her.
Toshiko-san makes up for her lack of English skills by colourfully gesticulating while talking about her house, and all the views it had to offer; she talks about her husband, who is in Osaka visiting their son. Her enthusiasm is catching, and Vishaka is content to be a listener in this one sided conversation. She gets a distinct feeling that despite her cheerful demeanor, the woman is lonely and prefers company. Vishaka had escaped the city to avoid people, but Toshiko-san is different. So she decides to tag along with her for the rest of the evening, helping her in the kitchen, refusing to take no for a answer. Toshiko-san must have never received a foreigner tourist before, so she let Vishaka tag along wheverer she went. Dinner is far different from any meal Vishaka had had in Japan in her eight months. “Miso Soup and Chicken Katsu for Bishaka-kun!” exclaims Toshiko-san, setting the two bowls in front of her on the low table. She brings her dinner too and they settle down to eat. Vishaka waits for her to say “itadakimasu”, the customary declaration before food consumption in Japan, and then they both tuck in. The taste was strange , but a good kind of strange.
Vishaka has not had a homemade meal in three years.
She goes  to sleep with a strange pang in her chest.

************************************************************************

Toshiko-san looks almost ethereal in the morning light, bent over her kitchen sink washing vegetables. As the sun gradually comes up, her silhouette reminds Vishaka of a similar scene from her childhood, that of her mother preparing food in her kitchen. She blinks and the illusion is gone. She is never quite able to hold on to her mother, not in real life, not in memory. Toshiko-san hums softly as she works, and Vishaka is reluctant to break the reverie.
After breakfast, the morning passes with exploration of the Ueno’s back garden, and further venturing into the pine forest behind the property. Toshiko-san accompanies her, but she is mostly silent; she does not impose her presence on Vishaka, just holds her hand and walks them down the forest path, showing her the various intricacies of the forest ecosystem. It is one of the best mornings she has had as an adult. It is refreshing and the elderly woman’s soothing presence is a welcome reprieve.
Vishaka has wandered almost the entirety of the Asian continent, always restless, always seeking new things, but never settling. It may be attributed to an absent parent, forced smiles, misplaced care. Being the daughter of a woman who never seemed willing to be a parent hardened something in her. People would not understand why. To this day Vishaka fails to convey to anyone that she is alive doesn't mean she’s there. She was never really there. Nothing but a duty bound woman, doing her duty to raise her, but never investing in her growth and interests, who up and left the minute Vishaka turned nineteen. It used to be a piercing sort of pain but with time it has simmered down to a dull ache. Maybe that is why she cannot settle. Because she is yet to find a semblance of home.

She suddenly cannot look at Toshiko-san. The sharp pang is back in her chest. She must notice the change in demeanor, for she stops and looks to  Vishaka with a searching gaze.
“Bishaka-kun, why sad?” she asks in concern. Vishaka is surprised at her question. Does she really look sad? She thinks she masks it well, but then, Toshiko Ueno is a mother. Maybe she knows these things. She nods her head and tells her it’s nothing. Toshiko-san is not convinced. Warm hands grasp tightly into both her hands and Vishaka’s eyes burn with unshed tears. She looks at her like-
But I am not your daughter, she thinks in the dark recesses of her mind, but doesn't say it aloud. She swallows, and gives her a shaky smile. “Shall we walk?” she asks, and they continue their stroll.

**********************************************************************

Something shifts after that. 

After a delicious lunch of chicken cutlet bowl, Toshiko-san stops her on the way to her room. She sits her down in the front porch and gives her phone to her.  A bit confused, Vishaka looks down to see and sees a translation page open in Toshiko-san’s phone, a few sentences converted into English from Hiragana.. She starts reading the translation.
Would you please stay another day? For the Tanabata festival?  It is a summer festival as you know, and we write wishes on strips of paper and hang them on bamboo decorations in the local Tanabata shrine. We make paper cranes and wish for longevity. This year I am alone for Tanabata. You don’t have to, but I would like it if you stayed. Please consider, Bishaka-kun." 
Of course she knows what is Tanabata, the famous Star festival of Japan. She has never participated in festivities in Japan, what with her 50 hours a week work hours. She is strangely touched by Toshiko-san’s request. This kind woman, with a cozy little home in the middle of countryside Komanaki, has opened her home to lost souls like hers, effortlessly incorporating strangers into her daily life, strangers who do not even speak her native tongue. Vishaka looks up to Toshiko-san’s smiling, hopeful face and says without a second thought, “Of course!”

**********************************************************************

Two days later, on the morning of the festival,  Vishaka arranges all the paper cranes she has made into a single file, admiring her handiwork . Toshiko-san giggles as Vishaka places a paper crown on her head, and reaches up to pat her cheek in thanks. Vishaka has never felt lighter. Toshiko-san hands her a single slip of paper to write her wish on. “Thank you, Toshiko-san,” she says with a smile. The older woman interrupts her like she did during their first meeting, and says , “ Call me okaasan!”
Vishaka’s heart clenches, speechless at the statement.  She knows enough Japanese to know the meaning of the word.
“Okaasan.”
Mother.
Toshiko Ueno is still smiling her crinkle eyed smile when Vishaka leans into her open arms.
“Okaasan.”
The word is still ringing in her ears.
“But I am not your daughter”, she doesn't think.
“Okaasan.”
Vishaka has not called anyone mother in the last nine years. It doesn't matter anymore.
Far away from her homeland, still caught in the loving embrace of a woman with too much love to give, she murmurs, “ Happy Tanabata, okaasan.”
Maybe one doesn't need a strip of paper for wishes to come true.




Tuesday 7 April 2015

Words of A Condition

Color,sepia,noise,melody,chaos,sharp,blunt,promise,reckless,pain,hysteria,pleasure,hypocrite,confusion,bliss,remembrance,sacrifice,memorable,pressure,touches,hormones,loyalty,adjustments,trust,patience,equal,faith, everything,nothing,messy,mercy,devotion,strength,heart's keeper,unconditional, uncontrollable,heartbreak,symmetry,jigsaw puzzle piece,whirlwind,flexibility,openness,madness,exhiliarating,lust,loss,death,birth,dreams,hope,tears,union,separation,rollercosters,balancing acts,rock ballads,crashing cymbals,diorama,panorama
Love,the be all end all of all creation,in a few words.

Even then it's not enough.

There's more.

Always more.

Wednesday 18 February 2015

The portrait of a college romance

Mani sat in a corner of the bench of the tea stall, observing 2 lovebirds in the opposite bench, who were pretending to act natural around everyone, and failing. They even went as far as keeping their bags in between them. She put down her head and smiled into her cup. Young love, she mused. It was a typical Thursday morning in college. Classes didn’t start before 1p.m, and they were sitting in Sukumar da’s canteen/tea stall, with cup of tea in hand. A senior who was sitting beside her, was rattling away about emerald doves to anyone who would listen. Well, incidentally, he found an audience in Saybasachi, the sunshine of her life, who was an avid bird watcher. she is crazy about birds too, but wasn’t in the mood for doves that morning. The new lovebirds mentioned earlier made her think of how, two years ago, sitting in the exact same spot, she saw the start of another love story -the one between Sabyasachi and herself. It all started in that run down but cosy tin roofed room under the tree. She believed that the most beautiful and extraordinary love stories have the the simplest of beginnings.
Theirs started the very first day Sabyasachi laid his eyes on Mani, over his very first cup of coffee in Presidency University at Sukumar da’s.  At first it was just sneaking little glances her way, which soon changed to staring at her with a look of awe on his face. She was, obviously, completely ignorant of these events. But within two weeks, Sabya’s silent pining was up, as his constant, unabashed staring at Mani got noticed by some of his friends. The cat was soon out of the bag. The girls in class gossiped about it for days.
Mani had never been so surprised in her life. One month into her Dream College and she had an Admirer! She didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or delighted. Besides, she noted that the boy was particularly very handsome.
She took her time to sort out her feelings, because she did not want her heart to be trampled upon. Something about Sabyasachi’s calm yet innocent demeanour gave her the confidence to take the leap-to try and date, like normal people who like each other do.
Mani never regretted that decision. Sabyasachi was a gentleman with a capital G, and treated her like a princess.
The first three months were downright awkward. Not having the guts to talk face to face, both took shelter in the safety of sms. And then there was the constant teasing by their batchmates. There was a time when it seemed the two shy young people were making no progress. After a few “pushes” from their friends, the two slowly fell into an easy rhythm.
And love wasn’t far behind.
It was a lot of firsts for them. First date, first cab ride home, first picnic, first hand holding, first class bunking, first hug, first fight, first kiss…(not necessarily in that order!) and after all those remarkable firsts, they went for seconds and thirds and more.
Soon, they became Sabya-Mani, an integrated complex. They were happy, in love. And life was good.
Love, Mani saw, wasn’t all that complicated.
Love was simple, everyday things. Love was him gripping her hand while crossing College Street. Love was her making cake on his birthday. Love was him instinctively switching sides while walking on a busy road so as to make sure Mani was away from the traffic. Love was sharing a cup of coffee. Love was him holding her cold hands to make them warm. Love was also about the big quarrels born out of fear for the safety of the other, and also about explaining tricky genetics concepts. Love was in the little touches, small gestures and the companionable silence. And what better place than Presidency for their love story! She wasn’t expecting to find love here, but then, an integral part of Presidency was “P for Prem” .
Looking up to see Sabya looking at her like she was his personal sun, she smiled,hoping she was worth his love.

The portrait of a college romance

Mani sat in a corner of the bench of the tea stall, observing 2 lovebirds in the opposite bench, who were pretending to act natural around everyone, and failing. They even went as far as keeping their bags in between them. She put down her head and smiled into her cup. Young love, she mused. It was a typical Thursday morning in college. Classes didn’t start before 1p.m, and they were sitting in Sukumar da’s canteen/tea stall, with cup of tea in hand. A senior who was sitting beside her, was rattling away about emerald doves to anyone who would listen. Well, incidentally, he found an audience in Saybasachi, the sunshine of her life, who was an avid bird watcher. she is crazy about birds too, but wasn’t in the mood for doves that morning. The new lovebirds mentioned earlier made her think of how, two years ago, sitting in the exact same spot, she saw the start of another love story -the one between Sabyasachi and herself. It all started in that run down but cosy tin roofed room under the tree. She believed that the most beautiful and extraordinary love stories have the the simplest of beginnings.
Theirs started the very first day Sabyasachi laid his eyes on Mani, over his very first cup of coffee in Presidency University at Sukumar da’s.  At first it was just sneaking little glances her way, which soon changed to staring at her with a look of awe on his face. She was, obviously, completely ignorant of these events. But within two weeks, Sabya’s silent pining was up, as his constant, unabashed staring at Mani got noticed by some of his friends. The cat was soon out of the bag. The girls in class gossiped about it for days.
Mani had never been so surprised in her life. One month into her Dream College and she had an Admirer! She didn’t know whether to be embarrassed or delighted. Besides, she noted that the boy was particularly very handsome.
She took her time to sort out her feelings, because she did not want her heart to be trampled upon. Something about Sabyasachi’s calm yet innocent demeanour gave her the confidence to take the leap-to try and date, like normal people who like each other do.
Mani never regretted that decision. Sabyasachi was a gentleman with a capital G, and treated her like a princess.
The first three months were downright awkward. Not having the guts to talk face to face, both took shelter in the safety of sms. And then there was the constant teasing by their batchmates. There was a time when it seemed the two shy young people were making no progress. After a few “pushes” from their friends, the two slowly fell into an easy rhythm.
And love wasn’t far behind.
It was a lot of firsts for them. First date, first cab ride home, first picnic, first hand holding, first class bunking, first hug, first fight, first kiss…(not necessarily in that order!) and after all those remarkable firsts, they went for seconds and thirds and more.
Soon, they became Sabya-Mani, an integrated complex. They were happy, in love. And life was good.
Love, Mani saw, wasn’t all that complicated.
Love was simple, everyday things. Love was him gripping her hand while crossing College Street. Love was her making cake on his birthday. Love was him instinctively switching sides while walking on a busy road so as to make sure Mani was away from the traffic. Love was sharing a cup of coffee. Love was him holding her cold hands to make them warm. Love was also about the big quarrels born out of fear for the safety of the other, and also about explaining tricky genetics concepts. Love was in the little touches, small gestures and the companionable silence. And what better place than Presidency for their love story! She wasn’t expecting to find love here, but then, an integral part of Presidency was “P for Prem” .
Looking up to see Sabya looking at her like she was his personal sun, she smiled,hoping she was worth his love.

Thursday 13 November 2014

River Song

The boy sang without restraint, his free unadulterated voice audible even in the midst of the constant humming of the motor boat. What a voice it was,powerful  melodious and hypnotising. The boat swayed a bit,unnoticed by everyone.The River was  stirring.
Do you know,dear boy,that the River can hear you? 
I call you a boy, because you are still a child in my eyes. You managed to capture my attention on this hot autumn afternoon while Nature was in a sweet, lazy slumber . how could i not awaken, dear boy? You are ,afterall, a part of the same Nature. And you are singing to me unawares. You are singing a River Song. I couldnt stay away.
I see you, your companions,and take note of the effect your song has not only on me, but those who surround you. The locals dont know your language, but they still listen to you in awe. Your friends, it seems to me, enjoy your melodious voice even as it goes up an octave before coming down to the regular pitch. You are young, but your voice tells me you have suffered hardships,and  also overcome them. It makes me proud,inspite of the fact that i do not know you.
I have seen enough of your people in my everflowing lifetime to know your stories with a single look. But this afternoon, i can only see the stories that your song brings forward in their minds.
Check-Shirt Girl ,with a half smile on her face , is taking a walk down memory lane, thinking of her mother and how she once sang the same River song to another River years ago.
Blue Shirt Boy is still trying to process your lyrics and maybe thinking a teensy bit about the little brother back home.
Oversized Hat Girl is already miles away,thinking of a different voice,accompanied by the memory of a certain pair of beautiful dark eyes and their infinite depths.
Black Tshirt Boy is feeling utterly peaceful, and to some extent sleepy in a good way, thinking of your song as a very beautiful lullaby. He couldnt remember the last time he felt this much peace in his hectic crazy life.
Maroon Shirt girl is so overwhelmed with emotion that love longing pain joy relief happiness everything jumbled up together is indistinctly flitting through her eyes. She fleetingly glances at her companion,a soft smile gracing her features. I dont know if she is sniffing because of cold.
Black and White Shirt Girl's eyes are getting unfocused and  glassy as she is thinking of all of you and how you all came to be where you now are. Like me ,she hears the twinge of pain in your vocals, but is very hopeful about the future.
Pink Top Girl has Love ,Pride and Understanding written all over. She is brimming with Happiness and Contentment. She truly sees you.
And you, little one , singing to me , are feeling blessed and emotional. and infinite. Just like me.
Your song is over, but the spell doesnt break. Nature will remember it this way.

Your song may be over, but it will live with the River.

Know this,The River doesnt forget.

Years later I may forget your face, but i wil not forget your tribute to me. Your River Song.

Monday 10 November 2014

Mud Stuck

They encountered wet mud after walking for about an hour. It took up the entire width of the forest path.the guides told them to carefully tiptoe around the edges and cross over. The 1st two people took their time and reached dry ground without any incident. Impatient,the 4th in line,Remy, decided that she'll just tiptoe over the mud... it didnt look that wet. Surely it would hold her for three seconds?
She was never so mistaken in her life.
Without warning she stepped on the mud,and she swore she sank four inches deep on impact. Her entire team felll silent and she started to panic. Within seconds her brilliant white sneakers sank deep in the mud. She tried lifting her foot but she was stuck. She was never more embarrased.
While Remy's mind went blank, she failed to notice the boys trying to talk to her. She snapped back into reality,processed half of what she heard, followed instructions and in no time she was pulled to dry ground by numerous pairs of helping hands.
After heaving a sigh of relief,she looked down at her shoes and exclaimed "O my God! how am i going to wash this off?" Then she started giggling hysterically. Her friends looked at her weird, she knew it was neither the time nor the place,but she visualised her brother's thunderstruck expression after beholding the beautiful shoes and could'nt help but laugh. "Well",she thought,as the walk resumed,"now i will be able to take back home a bit of mangrove soil with me. "

                                           *******

Rosie looked at the mud ahead. Beside her,Remy had  already become tensed. She let Remy go first. This time also her shoes sank deep,but she crossed the wet mud patch without getting stuck or falling. Rosie tested the ground,and took a tentative step forward. People who had crossed over earlier encouraged her to move forward carefully. Her  dear annoying friend Alice at the end of the line was already complaining about holding up the line. Two steps she took fine,after the third step she realised that her foot had moved forward but her shoe was left behind in the mud. She realised it a few seconds later than her friends,and by that time her barefoot was already covered in sticky smelly mud. She let out a bark of laughter ,so strange this situation was. Her friends started teasing her and encouraging her at the same time.It took her a while to put back her dirty foot back into her shoe. She held onto the outstretched hands and made it to the safe  solid ground. Now the situation wasnt so funny anymore. But she laughed inwardly,thinking how she must have looked, moving forward with a shoe missing.she turned just in time to see Alice stumbling but managing to break her fall by supporting herself on her left hand. She looked up to see Rosie grinning at her.she grinned back and held up her left hand,covered with a deep layer of mud. "High five?" She asked,approaching Rosie. Rosie scooted away to safety and continued being mock threatened by Alice and her muddy hand. They looked at each other's respctive mud problems and burst out laughing.

Warmth

It took him 7 days of travelling in the boat to experience sea sickness and he was least expecting it. The underbelly of the boat was cold and suffocating.so like most days he sat on the deck with his friends and stared at the vast expanse of the sea . but today his eyes were  unfocussed,looking at nothing. He could feel his friends' fleeting stares in his direction. Everything seemed washed out, less colourful-blame the blazing sun! It actually hurt his eyes.the same 5 people sat with him today,yet 5 seemed too less in his eyes.  Mind addled with tiredness,he didnt give much thought to that feeling of incompleteness. Another few days under the sun on the boat,and he would surely lose his mind.
At noon, his best friend found him lying against the rucksacks piled on the deck,eyes closed.cap lowered to shield his eyes.. in no time the girls on the deck, Sona and Erilyn started fusing over him..he was too tired to acknowledge even this. By nature,he hated asking for help. Surely the nausea would soon pass!
Erilyn took one look at his face, gave him the required medicine,an quietly left the deck. He welomed her absence. The well meaning  girl was a bundle of energy which he couldnt deal with right at that time. And Sona wasnt a close friend. Surely he couldnt tell her he was feeling cold under the sun! She would kick start her Mother Hen duties like she always did. He closed his eyes again.
He didnt know how long his peace lasted. He could hear Erilyn's voice rising.And then he  felt it.
His eyes we still closed but he knew she was there.  He peeked from under his eyelids,and there she was, almost crawling up on the deck silently so as to not disturb him.he saw the way she looked his way, half worried,half relieved. Sona  must have seen it too,for she immediately patted her head and cleared the deck.Even after Sona and Erilyn moved away,She kept her distance ,like usual. He didnt mind. Too many prying eyes.
He kept looking at her,pretending to be asleep.She was unaware she was being watched. Her presence was enough for him. He swore everything wasnt so washed out and dull. And he wasnt that cold anymore. The medicine didnt do that now,did it?
Even from a distance ,Light was what she projected
and Warmth was what she provided.