Saturday 13 July 2019

Paper Strip Wishes



Imari city is the first place that springs to mind when Vishaka, an employee of the Fukuoka City Museum, is just about done with her hectic week. She knows she needs to take a long deserved vacation, and she instantly acts on her impromptu thought. Her bags are packed and train tickets are booked even before her scant few days of leave are sanctioned. The afternoon she collects her sanction (after much grumbling from her superviser), she boards the Karatsu bound train from Fukuoka. She takes her designated seat, and breathes a sigh of relief. The metaphorical burden upon her shoulders feels lighter.

The previous week, her co-worker Rinko had taken one look at the bags under her eyes, the pallor of her skin, and declared that she needed a holiday. “Not the adventurous sort of holiday Viishaka-kun, she had said, “you need a holiday to cleanse your mind and soul!” Vishaka could only nod along, as she had no idea if such a place existed. Rinko then cheerfully provided her details of such a homestay not far from the hustle of the busy city. No wonder Vishaka’s mind kept circling around the recommended place, a small nondescript area in Imari city called Komanaki.

Now as the train came to a stop at Karatsu, she quickly changed trains that would take her to Komanaki. Within an hour she would reach her destination.
Komanaki falls eerily silent after the train leaves the station. It is a place suspended in time, with forests cropping up discontinuously in the horizon that is slowly turning from orange to purple, and nothing but the call of cicadas to keep her company. The homestay she has chosen is supposed to be a two minute walk from the station. Taking her one small rucksack on her shoulders, Vishaka sets out to begin her long awaited holiday.

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Eight months is hardly enough time to learn a smattering of hiragana and katakana system of writing.  Vishaka is thoroughly unprepared at the sight of a sign board by a two storey house proclaiming 宮古のホームステイへようこそ!  She blinks a few times, and is about to whip out her phone for the translation app when a lady in a dark coloured yukata walks out from a backyard. She is carrying a laundry basket in her arms, but the moment she spots Vishaka, she puts it down and hurries towards her. As she approaches, her features become more prominent, as much prominence twilight luminescence would allow for. She smiles at the tourist, spreads her hands wide and exclaims,” youkoso Ueno homusutei  he!”
Vishaka stares at the lady blankly, who by this time has perched a pair of thick black rimmed glasses and is intently looking towards Vishaka. Her eyes widen a fraction when she gets a good look at her face, understanding dawning on her that the Japanese exclamation was wasted on Vishaka. She then says in accented imperfect English, “Welcome to Ueno Homestay!’’. Vishaka sighs in relief and bows at her waist to greet her. The relief, however, is short lived, as the homestay owner, who introduces herself as Toshiko Ueno, has a limited vocabulary in English. Vishaka sighs again, but certainly not out of relief. She wonders how the next two days would go, considering the language barrier. But Toshiko Ueno does not seem bothered. Her smile brightens, and she welcomes Vishaka inside with a litany of “Come in, come in! “
Her smile is ever present on her face as she takes Vishaka to a makeshift lobby that is illuminated by pale yellow overhead lights, and hands her a form to fill up, which is thankfully in English as well. She tells Vishaka in broken English that she was expecting her, since a certain Rinko Komatsu had called up earlier and informed her of a lone foreign traveller who would turn up at Ueno Homestay. Vishaka smiles at the thoughtful gesture of her co-worker. She quickly fills in the necessary details, and once payment is made for her stay, Ms Ueno takes her up a flight of stairs and to her room. Once she reaches the first floor, Vishaka realizes she is the only lodger here. Good, she thinks. She would prefer as much quiet as possible.
“Ueno-san,” begins Vishaka, but is interrupted with a “Call me Toshiko-san!”
Vishaka obliges, and continues, “Toshiko-san, thank you for having me. Can you show me around this place tomorrow morning?” She says this slowly, hoping she understands. With the ever present smile on her face, Toshiko-san nods her assent. She pats Vishaka’s hand, and helps her unpack and settle into her room. Then she takes her leave, patting her shoulder twice and telling her to rest. That ever present smile and gentle touch does something to Vishaka’s insides, and she cannot help but smile.

When she goes downstairs an hour later, Toshiko-san is setting tea for two on the low table on the living room floor. She looks up at Vishaka and exclaims,” Bishaka-kun! Come, I bring tea. Green tea!” Vishaka quickly forgives her mispronounced name in the wake of her host’s enthusiasm and joins her on the low table, quickly folding her legs underneath her.
Toshiko-san makes up for her lack of English skills by colourfully gesticulating while talking about her house, and all the views it had to offer; she talks about her husband, who is in Osaka visiting their son. Her enthusiasm is catching, and Vishaka is content to be a listener in this one sided conversation. She gets a distinct feeling that despite her cheerful demeanor, the woman is lonely and prefers company. Vishaka had escaped the city to avoid people, but Toshiko-san is different. So she decides to tag along with her for the rest of the evening, helping her in the kitchen, refusing to take no for a answer. Toshiko-san must have never received a foreigner tourist before, so she let Vishaka tag along wheverer she went. Dinner is far different from any meal Vishaka had had in Japan in her eight months. “Miso Soup and Chicken Katsu for Bishaka-kun!” exclaims Toshiko-san, setting the two bowls in front of her on the low table. She brings her dinner too and they settle down to eat. Vishaka waits for her to say “itadakimasu”, the customary declaration before food consumption in Japan, and then they both tuck in. The taste was strange , but a good kind of strange.
Vishaka has not had a homemade meal in three years.
She goes  to sleep with a strange pang in her chest.

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Toshiko-san looks almost ethereal in the morning light, bent over her kitchen sink washing vegetables. As the sun gradually comes up, her silhouette reminds Vishaka of a similar scene from her childhood, that of her mother preparing food in her kitchen. She blinks and the illusion is gone. She is never quite able to hold on to her mother, not in real life, not in memory. Toshiko-san hums softly as she works, and Vishaka is reluctant to break the reverie.
After breakfast, the morning passes with exploration of the Ueno’s back garden, and further venturing into the pine forest behind the property. Toshiko-san accompanies her, but she is mostly silent; she does not impose her presence on Vishaka, just holds her hand and walks them down the forest path, showing her the various intricacies of the forest ecosystem. It is one of the best mornings she has had as an adult. It is refreshing and the elderly woman’s soothing presence is a welcome reprieve.
Vishaka has wandered almost the entirety of the Asian continent, always restless, always seeking new things, but never settling. It may be attributed to an absent parent, forced smiles, misplaced care. Being the daughter of a woman who never seemed willing to be a parent hardened something in her. People would not understand why. To this day Vishaka fails to convey to anyone that she is alive doesn't mean she’s there. She was never really there. Nothing but a duty bound woman, doing her duty to raise her, but never investing in her growth and interests, who up and left the minute Vishaka turned nineteen. It used to be a piercing sort of pain but with time it has simmered down to a dull ache. Maybe that is why she cannot settle. Because she is yet to find a semblance of home.

She suddenly cannot look at Toshiko-san. The sharp pang is back in her chest. She must notice the change in demeanor, for she stops and looks to  Vishaka with a searching gaze.
“Bishaka-kun, why sad?” she asks in concern. Vishaka is surprised at her question. Does she really look sad? She thinks she masks it well, but then, Toshiko Ueno is a mother. Maybe she knows these things. She nods her head and tells her it’s nothing. Toshiko-san is not convinced. Warm hands grasp tightly into both her hands and Vishaka’s eyes burn with unshed tears. She looks at her like-
But I am not your daughter, she thinks in the dark recesses of her mind, but doesn't say it aloud. She swallows, and gives her a shaky smile. “Shall we walk?” she asks, and they continue their stroll.

**********************************************************************

Something shifts after that. 

After a delicious lunch of chicken cutlet bowl, Toshiko-san stops her on the way to her room. She sits her down in the front porch and gives her phone to her.  A bit confused, Vishaka looks down to see and sees a translation page open in Toshiko-san’s phone, a few sentences converted into English from Hiragana.. She starts reading the translation.
Would you please stay another day? For the Tanabata festival?  It is a summer festival as you know, and we write wishes on strips of paper and hang them on bamboo decorations in the local Tanabata shrine. We make paper cranes and wish for longevity. This year I am alone for Tanabata. You don’t have to, but I would like it if you stayed. Please consider, Bishaka-kun." 
Of course she knows what is Tanabata, the famous Star festival of Japan. She has never participated in festivities in Japan, what with her 50 hours a week work hours. She is strangely touched by Toshiko-san’s request. This kind woman, with a cozy little home in the middle of countryside Komanaki, has opened her home to lost souls like hers, effortlessly incorporating strangers into her daily life, strangers who do not even speak her native tongue. Vishaka looks up to Toshiko-san’s smiling, hopeful face and says without a second thought, “Of course!”

**********************************************************************

Two days later, on the morning of the festival,  Vishaka arranges all the paper cranes she has made into a single file, admiring her handiwork . Toshiko-san giggles as Vishaka places a paper crown on her head, and reaches up to pat her cheek in thanks. Vishaka has never felt lighter. Toshiko-san hands her a single slip of paper to write her wish on. “Thank you, Toshiko-san,” she says with a smile. The older woman interrupts her like she did during their first meeting, and says , “ Call me okaasan!”
Vishaka’s heart clenches, speechless at the statement.  She knows enough Japanese to know the meaning of the word.
“Okaasan.”
Mother.
Toshiko Ueno is still smiling her crinkle eyed smile when Vishaka leans into her open arms.
“Okaasan.”
The word is still ringing in her ears.
“But I am not your daughter”, she doesn't think.
“Okaasan.”
Vishaka has not called anyone mother in the last nine years. It doesn't matter anymore.
Far away from her homeland, still caught in the loving embrace of a woman with too much love to give, she murmurs, “ Happy Tanabata, okaasan.”
Maybe one doesn't need a strip of paper for wishes to come true.




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